hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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