No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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