She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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