Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
