Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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