yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
