fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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