so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
