how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
