all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
