The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
