Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Pooping to opera.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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