i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
