when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
