dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
