I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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