I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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