wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
