Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
