Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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