Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
whose parrot is this?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
