carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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