nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize