Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
