all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
