i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize