Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
