your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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