so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
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