I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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