In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
