Sry I called you an 8
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
