we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
