you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
