we have officially lost it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
