okay pat passed out under dana's car
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Semen is not good for contacts.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
