My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
