he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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