I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
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