Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
