I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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