is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
