are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
