Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just gift wrapped bread.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
