yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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