This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
