two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
