Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
