It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
