Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
