I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
