In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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