When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
