You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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