i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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